A Word to Husbands

This lesson will offer some things I’ve learned—and am still learning—on how to build and maintain a bridge of love to the greatest human being that God ever created—my wife. It will cover three important parts—attitude, words and actions.

MARRIAGE ISN’T EASY

It is harder today to have a solid, scriptural marriage relationship than ever before. The competition for our attention is enormous. Materialism has caused many Christians to attempt to keep up with their neighbors. Many men have married their jobs—often at the expense of their marriage.

Extra-marital sex is no longer hidden. It is now “acceptable” under certain conditions. That’s more pressure on the marriage. An age of permissiveness and easy-to-buy drugs have put terrible pressure and anxiety on parents.

Modern “liberation” movements are causing many couples to be suspicious of each other. And finally, divorce is so easy to obtain that couples who normally would have tried to stay together through good times or bad instead just give up. That’s why this message is for mature people with mature minds who want to have a mature scriptural marriage.

WINNING ATTITUDES

1) My wife is God's will for my life

My first attitude is that my wife is God’s will for my life. We were both committed Christians when we married, but that would still be my attitude even if we had married before accepting the Lord. Since God’s will is not always easy nor without pain, I recognize that part of my marriage will be difficult and painful.

2) Never Threaten the word "divorce" 

The Lord says that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). If God hates it, so must I, and I will not engage in any divorce attitudes, words or actions. Like many women whose husbands are involved in the ministry, my wife had her doubts and fears that her husband might one day look in another direction. However, as the years have gone by she has seen proof that I intend to love her until I breathe no more. That brings security to a wife even when misunderstandings or arguments occur.

3) Marriage is a miracle

One of the most important attitudes a husband can have is “Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25)  I reflect often on the miracle of God ever giving me a woman who trusted her entire life into my hands. Talk about privileges! I must act as if I am the Lord Jesus and my wife is the Church. Jesus gave, gives, and will give all His love, attention and sacrifice for His body, the Church. That is also my privilege with my wife.

WINNING WORDS

1) Words are creative

Jesus said, “By your words you shall be justified and by your words you shall be condemned.” (Matthew 12:37) Speaking of the mouth, Scripture states “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?” (James 3:11)

What were the words most of us men used when courting our wives?  If someone would have recorded them so we could listen to them again, we would be amazed at our tenderness, romanticism and gentleness.

Why should our words change after we have won the girl we so ardently sought? Use those words again—“sweetheart”, “darling”, “my love”—with loving actions and she will respond with love and gratitude.

2) Compliment from the heart

Practice praising your wife for her good points. A woman needs—and appreciates—genuine compliments. But remember, compliments not followed by caring actions are empty and meaningless.

3) The tone of your voice

Body language and the tone of your voice can either irritate or inspire your wife. Whining, raising our voice in anger, complaining, etc is childish. As husbands we must learn to put away childish things (1 Cor. 13:11). Go to work on the tone of your voice.

4) A couple that prays together

A wife desires the security of her husband being the leader. There is enormous security generated in the heart of a woman whose husband picks up his Bible for a quiet time together each evening prior to sleep. My wife and I read a chapter together, but I take the initiative. No Christian woman wants to be the spiritual head of the house and endure a husband with little or no spiritual convictions. Along with reading the Word, a husband has the privilege of praying for his wife and thanking God aloud for giving him such a wonderful woman. This is therapeutic in the heart and mind of a wife and inspires her to be all that her husband believes her to be.

PART 2 NEXT LESSON!
 

"Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ" (I Corinthians 11:1)
The ST. PAUL SCHOOL, with Frank Eiklor, Eileen Young and Cecilia Contreras